How to set goals for yourself and not for society?

Emily is a professional ballerina and unfortunately, she has a lot of experience with people telling her what to do. However, she decided that enough is enough and to pick her OWN goals that SHE wants to reach, not the goals she ‘should’ reach. In this blog post, she will tell you how you can make sure that your goals are right for you and that you are not picking them to impress others. If this is something you are struggling with, keep reading!

We all tried at least once to look like the girls on the magazine, followed that new trendy diet, bought a jeans size smaller hoping to magically fit in, and so on. We all set ourselves goals which we thought were right when in fact they were totally based on what society made us believe “the perfect you” should look like.

Setting goals based on what someone else told you to be like has pretty much a 100% chance to fail. You’ll likely try to reach it in a different way again to fail again…and again and again. You’re experiencing this famous yo-yo effect and you will never get out of it if you don’t decide to start setting personal customised goals.

A personal goal is a goal you want to achieve because you know what it’s going to bring you (feeling, look, health…), you know why you are doing it and you are adapting it to your needs and lifestyle! You believe in it a 100% and you know it is the right thing for you!

The best way to know if a goal is really coming from your true belief and will, you can imagine that no one is around you anymore, you’re alone.
There’s no one to show your progress to, no one to judge you, no one to compare to, no one to impress (apart from yourself)… everyone is gone and there’s only you.
Can you imagine?
Now, ask yourself that question; “Are you still wanting to achieve this goal if no one is there to congratulate you, to judge you, to impress and so on?”
Do you still think your goal is worth the hard work it requires?

If yes, that’s awesome! You have all chances to succeed and will have a real goal purpose to remember when times get tough.
If not, sorry but this means you don’t really want it and you should reconsider your goal in order to work on something that’s really meaningful to you!

I know it’s hard! I’m a professional ballerina and for many years I’ve been asked to lose weight and look a certain way. It only ended up with me failing again and again and unable to lose even 1kg. I kept trying out random stuff without logic. I was just doing anything to try and satisfy what was being required of me. I hadn’t decided to do it for myself and that made any restriction or diet impossible to follow successfully as I had no personal intention behind it all.
So I thought a lot and made it clear with myself what I thought would be good and what would be bad for me and only me! I decided to do things for myself, to not care whether people liked the way I looked or not. Slowly, I started having a power over myself, I started feeling confident, I was able to reach personalised mini goals regularly, I had the ability to say no to temptation. That because I knew exactly why I was doing whatever I set myself to! I believed it was exactly what I needed and that gave me the possibility to push to the side everything unnecessary that stood on my way. This whole process made me discover new sides of me and even a new passion for fitness and nutrition!

That’s what you need to do! Find something you believe in so hard that it’ll give you the power to work towards it whatever comes your way, whatever the others say or think!
Believe me, this way you’ll be able to achieve all the goals you set yourself to and you’ll feel a level of happiness and fulfillment you never experienced before!

I want to thank Emily for sharing this very powerful blog post with us and for being so open about her own experiences.

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